writing

The Reflection Series: Installment 2

So, today is a day where I’m kinda low. It happened sometimes, there doesn’t need to be a reason necessarily or, it’s a cruel combination of many things. Today is the latter. I’m just having a lot of complicated feelings and emotions. I feel like I’m at arms length from someone I really care about, mostly because they’re afraid of hurting/losing me, by I don’t think they realize that that is exactly what they’re doing now. I feel really unfulfilled. I feel like I am not reaching my creative potential, or like I’m doing enough. I’m just feeling really blah about work and life in general. And of course there’s other, smaller things that contribute as well.

Really, I’m feeling a tad lonely today. And not that, no one is around, type of loneliness, I just feel alone in my own little world today. Andi feel like there’s no one for me to grab onto. Again, the one person I want to, is being really distant at times, and then not at others. But, that’s not the point, the point is I’m having a low swing and they happen.

Something I’m trying to start doing, is not hold my emotions so close to me. What I mean by that is, I won’t not feel how I feel, to make others feel better, or to pretend that everything is okay when it is not. I’ve learned that, that puts a huge strain on my mental health. So, I’ve learned to feel those feelings, but to also not let them completely ruin my day. It’s okay to feel down or depressed sometimes. It happens, but what you can’t let it do is derail your life. So, find an outlet and a therapist, and get to figuring out how to cope with those emotions.

Today, I honestly feel crappy. I just feel really blah and really numb to a lot. But, I know that things could be worse, and that things will get better. Just remember that your feelings and emotions are valid. They are not a bother or some sort of awful thing to have to hide. You are allowed to feel the way you feel. And never let anybody tell you differently. Love yourself, and that starts with loving your mind and spirit.

You’re valid and you’re enough.

J 💙

Posts From a Busy Bee

Hey there, I know that I do have a few readers. And recently I haven’t been posting anything. I was just so so busy, with working on a show, and working at a restaurant. And then after the show, I went home, and then I tried putting my life back together, but it was tough to catch up. But, I did catch up. I had a good audition as well, so finger crossed. 

As for my content, I’m really excited to say that I know have multiple platforms where you can read my work. I will be freelancing for Manhattan Digest and also the website MyTrendingStories. So, be looking at here for more info on that. After this election, there’s just so much that I feel I need to say. I’ve been reflecting and praying and meditating on it, and I think I’m ready to start speaking. I’m about to work on my you’re tube channel so be looking out for some vlpgs as well. This is a wild adventure I want to embark on in my writing . But, I must make my voice be heard. I’m not perfect and I have my flaws, but I do want to make the fight be known. I wanna use my voice for good and justice.  

So, The Aesthetic is just getting started! 

Live to laugh another day, 

Jaybo