Long time, no type: Once more with feeling

Hello Readers! (If I still have any…lol)

I haven’t used this thing in awhile, and about week or so ago, I realized “Fuck, I’m paying for this”, so I decided its time to jump back in! Gonna be honest, I’m not sure what exactly this is gonna be yet. I know that I do wanna share myself, and write about relevant things in the world, that interest me. Life has changed for me quite a bit since the last time I wrote here. I know that I wanna be a voice. And I wanna use that voice to the best of my ability. We will see what comes of it.

I plan on travelling a bit more, so I will talk about that here. As well as my experiences in the theatre. Just bear with me as pick this journey back up. I want you guys on the ride with me and I want feedback. What should talk about? Is there a topic you think I should write on? Would you be interested in other media content? (YouTube, podcast, etc) I really wanna build something here!

Alright, it won’t be this long before you hear from me again! I’m ready and I have a hunger for this now! Till next time!

A Read by Jaybo: Don’t come for my artistry. 

So, I just had a conversation with someone on Facebook who was an acquaintance in high school. The topic was Lady Gaga. He posted an article for the LA times, and it was about her Coachella performance and how it fell kinda flat after the first half. Which is fine, I wasn’t there I can’t say. He’s not a fan of the new Gaga and that’s fine. So, I made a comment just starting conversation about the new Gaga and where she is. Literally just stating my thoughts on what the article said…and this bitch just decided to come for me. And pretty much acted like I had no idea what I was talking about, because “I’m in marketing”. Ugh! I literally studied performance, and I was just talking to another artist about art. 

Then he tried to tell ME that I was just following the gay mainstream. First of all bitch, I’m my own mainstream. Secondly, who the fuck are you to tell me how I feel about things? I almost wanna post his name so y’all can go troll his ass, but I’m gonna keep it cute. But, how dare this,queen come for my fucking artistry. Lady Gaga is an artist who grew up with people telling her she couldn’t do it, or it wasn’t possible. Not to mention she uses such fascinating imagery in her work. She is a true artist. All she wants to do is make her Music and do her thing, which is what we all want to do. 

And people be complaining about how they don’t like her new sound and they’re not fans anymore, well good! Trim the fucking fat because you weren’t a fan in the first place. It’s not like she just dropped the ball and did something horrible, she just did something different. If that something different wasn’t your thing, cool that’s fine. But, I enjoy it because I feel like she had something to say and she finally as an ARTIST said it her way! Yeah, she has some gimmicks, but gimmicks are how you stay in the fucking business. Then this fucker, we’ll call him Derrick Berry, tried to say that her new gimmicks aren’t to his liking…OKAY? You are not her, or her manager, or her PR team. 

Ugh, whatever…I’m just really sick of this trend of Queer men “coming for eachother” and “throwing shade”. Especially these catty ass white Queer men who think it’s “cool” or “cute”; that shit isn’t about being a petty little bitch…in short I unfriended his ass and then he messaged me with this dumbass message : “Awe yay you best me to it on the unfriending good job. Have a great life bro. Accept who you are and quit trying to make your perspective sound special” but, set it so I couldn’t message back. That was kinda douchey to say, but if you ever read this know this:  

You need to grow up. And I hope you do. You said that I was trying too hard to make my perspective special, whatever that means. You just dogged on me and like laughed because I was explaining something passionately, when you’re only real argument was like you were in marketing and could knew about marketing…I’m sorry but are you marketing personally for her? You would even discuss it forreal. And like you said “I’m an artist, too.” But, couldn’t give me anything forreal to back up, artistically, what you were saying. You also, kinda made the assumption that I was some how, slow or dimwitted and or that I was just following some crowd to devalue what I was saying?  A real artist would at least respect another artists opinion and try to see where they’re coming from. You, however, don’t have any respect. You go around toting this whole idea that you’re on a higher plane of existence, but really you use art to hide your insecurities, not explore them. And, i hope some day you do. But, you gotta be,willing to listen and give positive energy to others. Get off your fucking high horse because you’re making a little coin out in West coast, and learn some goddamn respect. Seriously, it’ll make life so much better. I hope life treats you kinder. 

And with that I’m going to bed. Night all!

Live to laugh another day! 


HOOKED Project


Hey guys! So, if you’ve ever heard of “Maxisms” on YouTube and Instagram you know he’s working on a new project! It’s called Hooked. It’s a new movie project he’s working on to raise money to donate to LGBT youth. If you can donate a little you should!! Here is a little synopsis of the movie from the site: 

The story follows Jack and his gender-fluid boyfriend Tomás in New York City. They’ve run away from home instead of being sent to “behavior modification camps” and resort to sex-work in order to build a better life for themselves (story outline and full script available upon request). 

Sounds fun. Check out the site above for more info and make sure to find “Maxisms” on YouTube and Instagram. Did I mention he’s extremely hot as well? Just a plus! 

Live to laugh another day! 

Jaybo, the somewhat Peckish artist 

Happy National Coming Out Day. My story. 

So, I’ve been meaning to post this all day, but the combination of recovering from mycoplasma (walking pneumonia) and getting caught in unintentional marathon of Top Model, is how I got here. I’m laying here in my bed typing this on my phone. Nonetheless, it’s National Coming out day and that is something to be celebrated. It should be celebrated by those of us that are out and proud and by those of us who either in the process or just not ready yet; you’ve at least come out to yourself or some friends. 

A lot of people today have been sharing their “coming out” stories on Facebook and other social media sites. I don’t ever do this for a reason and it’s time to come clean. Technically, I never really came out. Now, I don’t deny who I am and if you were to ask me I’d tell you. I don’t hide it and everyone close to me and even people who are close to me know it. I’m very proud of who I am. I’m Gay! And would consider myself a part of the bear gay community, in which I want to be a stronger presence in. But, I never really truly came out…okay maybe that’s not completely true. 

I discovered my attraction toward other boys in middle school. I was awkward chubby and still looked like a little baby. But, I had a huge crush in eighth grade that solidified it. If he ever reads this, he’ll be so embarrassed, I don’t think I ever told him. His name was Garrett H. He was probably the manlinest guy in eight grade. He already had a lot of body hair (I had gym with him), and a little stubble. He was husky, had medium length “skater hair”and the most piercing green eyes. We were really good friends an that was it. I mean he wasn’t the only I found attractive, but he was my first real crush. 

I told my close group of friends and they were all pretty cool with it. They knew and accepted me, I took it. Then came high school. High school got a little more awkward, because by then I was in the throes of puberty, and it was really hard…not in that way. But, it was hard to not pay attention to my urges. After Garrett, I thought it was just a kind of phase or once in a lifetime thing. But, high school was different, I couldn’t deny it. I was gay. This big football player named Andrew with red hair and giant biceps proved that to me. Also, that’s where I developed my attraction for large red headed men. Luckily for me all of my friends from middle school went to high school with me and we stay very close, I also met another group of very open minded students, a lot of which were in ROTC, oddly enough. But, that’s where I met my second crush and first boyfriend, Rafael. We dated for a week. Then there was Kevin, who I really cared about and still do to this day. Then there was Dakota…I think one of the two men I think I was actually IN love with. He was so  charming yet, such a douche bag. Tall, blond, and stocky. A dream. A dream I never actually won. By this point, I was pretty much fully put at school. And I was mostly unbothered. And then it came to my family. 

Now, they couldn’t have been surprised. I had been performing songs by female performers all my life, I used to where my grandma’s heels and play Sailor Moon  and act out Annie, which was my favorite musical for a while. My grandmother raised me, and she probably always knew. But, me coming home and having such close relationships with other guys kinda tipped the scale. She always knew, even one time, I had a friend over to stay the night, we used to spend the night at eachother’s houses all the time, she asked me if we were sleeping together. We weren’t, but I think that was her way of telling me. And that was how that happened. No fireworks, no big sweeping statements. Just that and I kinda slid out. So, I didn’t hide it when J, that’s what we’ll call him, he was the one I kinda let slip through my fingertips, but at that time he was too afraid of a relationship. Which is a shame, because we could’ve been very good together. But, I wouldn’t hide the fact that J would come over to watch a movie Nad cuddle on my couch. Even walking in on us making out a couple times. I had gay friends and I had a host of fabulous female friends. I was out, but I did explode out, I slid. 

To this day it’s still not something I talk to my mother and step father about. My mom found out about Kevin, we were in a pretty serious relationship, as serious as you can be in high school. She called and confronted me on the phone. She asked me and I panicked and said she didn’t need to worry about it. But, she’s not dumb she’s a mom and although she didn’t necessarily raise me (my grandmother did as stated above) she knew. She knows. It’s my step father that worries me the most. He had a bad reaction when I started doing musical theatre and realized you had to wear make up on stage. He’s so stuck in his black masculinity, that I know he would fall into that and get offended, and worry about what everyone else thinks. I’m also afraid that it’s trickled down to my brothers. I mean it is very obvious, I always have “very close” male friends and throughout high school and college I’ve never brought a girl or anyone home really. I’m sure my sister knows and she seems cool with it. It’s not that I don’t want them to know or care, but they are also very religious ( sometimes) and I just want to keep my relationship with my siblings and even my mom somewhat intact. So, that’s why I say I slid out, everyone knows, and I’m not ashamed. 
I guess I really have no reason to be ashamed or embarrassed, people come out in different ways. I’ve never really told that to anyone though. I guess because I am so open, especially now as an adult, and I have no shame in who I am or what I do, that it feels embarrassing. I have to get over that, which is why I’m sharing it here. 

I know that was long, but I hope you read it and enjoy it. After all this blog is called The Aesthetic. And as I mention that’s a true outward expression. So, I’m being open and honest. I hope maybe it’ll help other in a similar situation, especially my black lgbt brothers and sitsters. 

I wanna hear from you guys now! Tell me about your coming out or a story about a difficult coming out, really share with me. You can submit it to me or you can just leave a comment! Thanks for reading. 

Live to laugh another day!

Jaybo, the somewhat Peckish artist.

UPDATE: Luke Evans Comes Out Of The Closet. Again. Sort Of. / Queerty


This is a bit troubling. I had known idea that Luke Evans was even gay. My first experience of the actor was in the short lived West-End production of RENT Remixed, which I have my feelings about…😒 *shade*. But, with his new film The Girl on the Train coming out, this article resurfaced. Now, he’s obviously very attractive and he’s really good at what he does, but does all of that excuse him from this kinda thing? The idea of being an “action star” is so steeped in heteronormativity, and what for? Gay men can be just as masculine as straight men. Luke Evans can do whatever he wants it’s his life, but what about the rest of us, what about they boy who knows he’s different, but still wants to be like James Bond or super man. Step up Luke, don’t be ashamed of who you are! You’re just as hot and action-y as any straight man! What do you guys think? I wanna hear from you! Leave a comment or message me! 

Live to laugh another day!



My return to the (not so) great south

Well, everyone, I am back in the south! I arrived here a couple days ago from my northern adventure. Yep, this queer is back to his old stomping grounds. And let me tell ya, I love being home with my grandmother, the woman of my life, but I REALLY miss the north. Things are just different. Guys are different, people are different, and it’s not as hot. But, it is okay. The process has begun, and I will be a permanent resident of the North very soon. And I can’t wait! I got a lot to talk about on here, and honestly I’ll probably get started later tonight! Check you later peeps!

Live to sing another day,
The Somewhat Peckish Artist.