motivation

The Reflection Series: Installment 2

So, today is a day where I’m kinda low. It happened sometimes, there doesn’t need to be a reason necessarily or, it’s a cruel combination of many things. Today is the latter. I’m just having a lot of complicated feelings and emotions. I feel like I’m at arms length from someone I really care about, mostly because they’re afraid of hurting/losing me, by I don’t think they realize that that is exactly what they’re doing now. I feel really unfulfilled. I feel like I am not reaching my creative potential, or like I’m doing enough. I’m just feeling really blah about work and life in general. And of course there’s other, smaller things that contribute as well.

Really, I’m feeling a tad lonely today. And not that, no one is around, type of loneliness, I just feel alone in my own little world today. Andi feel like there’s no one for me to grab onto. Again, the one person I want to, is being really distant at times, and then not at others. But, that’s not the point, the point is I’m having a low swing and they happen.

Something I’m trying to start doing, is not hold my emotions so close to me. What I mean by that is, I won’t not feel how I feel, to make others feel better, or to pretend that everything is okay when it is not. I’ve learned that, that puts a huge strain on my mental health. So, I’ve learned to feel those feelings, but to also not let them completely ruin my day. It’s okay to feel down or depressed sometimes. It happens, but what you can’t let it do is derail your life. So, find an outlet and a therapist, and get to figuring out how to cope with those emotions.

Today, I honestly feel crappy. I just feel really blah and really numb to a lot. But, I know that things could be worse, and that things will get better. Just remember that your feelings and emotions are valid. They are not a bother or some sort of awful thing to have to hide. You are allowed to feel the way you feel. And never let anybody tell you differently. Love yourself, and that starts with loving your mind and spirit.

You’re valid and you’re enough.

J 💙

Motivation/Man Crush Monday: Get ya ass up, show me how you BEARlesque!

This is coming late as hell, I know. Life is hard for a theatre practitioner, sue me. But, I had to get this up, because I am so excited about this. So, this is the first time I’ve ever interviewed anyone for this blog. So, the title of this has a lot to do with the subject of my interview. First let me start off with, I added this person on Facebook first because, well, I thought he was really hot. We all do it. But, then I discovered something very interesting…he’s a burlesque dancer…or Burlesque entertainer as he calls himself. I’m talking about the Indy King of Bearlesque, WAYNE KING! 14650656_1772521046356961_2498088703562727847_n

Woof. Right? Yeah…I know. Not only is he handsome, but he’s a very talented performer and just a super sweet guy! Ahhh…I feel so hip and cool, we had a convo over Facebook and just talked about Burlesque and life. I had such a great time getting to know Wayne as an artist. I really want this blog to represent all types of queer people and I think this is definitely the start of that. And without further ado, here is the interview!

  • So, first question, and I know it’s not creative, I’m just curious; when did you come out of the closet?

  • Wayne King

    I was 15. I knew before sooner. I would say I was like in the 7th grade, and I knew?

  • Jalen Brown

    Cool. That’s pretty young, how did your family take it? Did they pull the whole it’s just a phase thing?

  • Wayne King

    I told my parents on New Years Eve at midnight over the phone. I could hear my dad’s tone shift. And my mom didn’t know how to react. She’s a Polish immigrant. From what I could tell as a youngin that catholicism was the religion of choice there and it was a big no no. I think my dad came to terms with it a lot faster than my mom. They seemingly love my husband. We just don’t bring it up a lot and that’s fine. love my parents, they did a lot for us, but they are just a certain way. We respect each other to still be family.

  • Jalen Brown

    You know, that’s really great to hear. A lot a lot of people don’t get that, and I think it’s quite amazing. So, you’re married you said. How long and who’s the lucky fella?

  • Wayne King

    Been together 10, married 2, and his name is Tim.

  • 14858757_1780730655536000_1001346496_o
  • Jalen Brown

    Cute! That’s awesome, congrats! Okay, so now that we know a little bit of personal history. Let’s talk what you do. You dance burlesque, correct?

  • Wayne King

    I wouldn’t say dance. I always say I am a burlesque entertainer. That takes away from those who are way more talented than I and breath, eat, sleep this stuff.

    Also, I have two left feet.

  • Jalen Brown

    Hehe. Okay, Burlesque entertainer. Have you always been interested in entertaining? Did you perform at all as a kid?

  • Wayne King

    A few school plays here or there. Burlesque just kind of fell in my lap. I heard about an open audition. I was on the verge of losing my job and had nothing to lose. I knew burlesque was body positive so I wanted to see some of that myself.

  • Jalen Brown

    Cool, as a person who does theatre for a living, I’m always curious if other types of performers start young like a lot of theatre actors/dancers. So, we’ll get back to body positivity. So, you auditioned. What exactly did that consist of?

  • Wayne King

    Learning a little choreography. It wasn’t too difficult for most. It challenged me a little because I’m not used to that kind of learning. Then we had an interview. I think there may have been like an emote with your face bit.

  • Jalen Brown

    So, I guess those school plays helped a bit, huh?

  • Wayne King

    Right. I’m naturally an overly emotive face person.

  • Jalen Brown

    Jalen Brown

    Was it for a troupe? Or just for single performers?

  • Wayne King

    It was a troupe putting on a show, though it was an individual performer’s show with the help of Angel Burlesque to put it on. So, they were looking for independent performers too.

  • Jalen Brown

    Right on. Before I forget where are you from?

    Or where do you currently reside?

  • Wayne King

    From Chicago, live on the Northside of Indianapolis currently.

  • Jalen Brown

    Cool. So, how long have you been a burlesque entertainer? And do you be long to a troupe?

  • Wayne King

    Almost 3 years. 3 years in March to be exact. I am a member of Creme De Les Femmes.

  • Jalen Brown

    How many of the almost 3 years have you belonged to Creme De Les Femmes?

  • Wayne King

    Only about a year now, in November.

  • Jalen Brown

    Cool. So, how did Tim feel about it? Was he supportive?

  • Wayne King

    Tim will always tell me whatever makes me happy, to do it. Obviously within means. He’s not like, if you like Crystal Meth do that. Haha.

  • Jalen Brown

    Haha. Good to know that he’s supportive, but not enabling destructive behavior. So, how often do you perform? And is there somewhere we could watch one of your performances?

  • Wayne King

    Usually monthly to at least bi monthly.

    Yes, I have a YouTube channel.

    Let me see if I can figure this out link correctly.

  • Wayne King

    Wayne King Burlesque
    youtube.com
  • Wayne King

    It goes in chronological order. Hopefully it shows a progression. Lol.

  • Jalen Brown

    Haha. Awesome, I am looking forward to watching these. The art of burlesque has always interested me. Would you talk a little bit about what it means for you and how it’s affected you?

  • Wayne King

    It means the world to me. It’s helped me get so much better about feeling good with my body. I know beauty fades or looks go, but it’s so much deeper than that. I’ve made connections, fans, I’ve traveled with it. I get the occasional message that says I help them feel better about themselves. It’s taught me to costume.on a budget and how to trust some and others less. Be professional. Spread a message.

  • Jalen Brown

    That’s really awesome. It’s great when you discover something you love and you can just throw yourself into it. You said it helped you feel better about feeling good with your body. We all have our body issues, but is that something that really affected you before starting burlesque or when you were younger?

  • Wayne King

    Oh yeah, very much so. At 19, I got pretty skinny but that was from way under eating, working out, going to school full time and work as much as I could. I struggled with body images a lot. Even within the bear community, there is a bunch of malarkey that happens there. You can be big but you better be hairy or else you only appeal to half. But I can’t even complain about this. There is such a lame white sensibility about it all. I think sometimes it hard to recognize privilege when you aren’t called on it. But you notice things and it’s sickening and wished you fought for it all along or called it out.

  • Jalen Brown

    Hmm…wow. So, you’ve dealt with both ends of the spectrum. I must agree, though, with what you said about the bear community and I won’t even get started on privilege, we can have that conversation later.

    You’ve battled body issues on both ends of the spectrum and here you are, proud of who you are and loving yourself. Now, I know not everyone realizes that male burlesque performers are among us, are there any other men in your troupe? And, to your knowledge, are there a lot out there?

  • Wayne King

    I’m the only male in my troupe. Men only makeup a small amount.

  • Jalen Brown

    Hmm…why do you think that is?

  • Wayne King

    It was just primarily a women’s profession or career. I’m not sure if there were men back in the day.

  • Jalen Brown

    So, just an industry standard. Would you encourage other men to try it? Just from your own personal experience?

  • Wayne King

    Very much so but don’t half ass it. Do what your burlesque sisters are doing. They have to wear pasties, you wear pasties. They’ll appreciate you doing the same things they have to.

  • Jalen Brown

    That’s really cool advice. I guess if you’re really gonna do something that is somewhat of a society, you should immerse yourself in the culture. Okay, just couple more questions.

    You make your costumes, do you also choreograph all your numbers?

  • Wayne King

    For the most part. When I’ve been in group acts, it’s a dynamic. But solo stuff, I pretty much come up with.

  • Awesome! So, when you’re not on stage in your skivies, what do you do? What pays the bills?

    Also, I’m living for your “Birdcage” performance.

  • I’m an assistant manager at a pet supply store. I went to school for journalism but it’s a hard field.

    Thank you! Lol.

  • You’re very welcome, you slay with those flags! That’s cool, the great world of retail! Haha. Journalism is indeed a hard field to get a foot in. Any thing specific you wanted/still want to do with that?

  • I’d like to find a voice. Something queer related and pop culture. My areas of expertise.

  • Awesome! That’s everything I want to celebrate with this blog. There need to be more voices out there like that. So, any last thoughts? Anything you like to add about burlesque or just yourself in general?

  • Wayne King

    Just honestly to love and support yourself. It’s really easy to give into what society wants. Buck the trend. It’s the most punk rock thing you can do.

  • That’s great! Thank you so much for answering those questions and talking to me. It was really cool getting to know a little bit about burlesque from a male performer and getting to know how you feel about the art.

    • Of course. Anytime! Have a good night.

     

     So as you can see, Wayne is such a cool guy. I think what I love is when he talks about how Burlesque has made him feel about his body. Body positivity is very important to me, and I think that’s why I’ve always been so fascinated with Burlesque. I definitely would like to try it myself someday! It really is a passion, and I see that passion in Wayne. For these reasons, he is my Man Crush/Motivation Monday! Thank you Wayne, it is a pleasure to know you and i hope we keep in contact!
    Live to Laugh another day,
    Jaybo (the Somewhat Peckish Artist)

Motivation/Man Crush Monday: Ryan Shea

Hey everyone!

So, I realize this is a day late, but give me a break I’ve been dealing with a stomach virus. But this week I decided that I would combine something I wanna start called “Motivation Monday” and “Man Crush Monday” (#mcm).

This week’s “Motivation/Man Crush Monday” goes out to a man that I discovered a year or so ago on the internet through his site Manhattan Digest. This is one of my favorite sites, mostly because of its inclusiveness of the bear community and the very interesting articles and interviews the creator does. And speaking of the creator…

Here is Ryan Shea!

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Now, not only is he a pretty handsome bear of a man, but the guy is so incredibly ambitious and go getting! I mean come on, what isn’t sexy about a man who is ambitious and business savvy? Plus, he’s a CEO! I follow him on social media, and something that I love about him is that he’s always encouraging others to accomplish their goals and dreams.

He went out there and built his dream HIMSELF! That in itself is enough to motivate me to get out there and make my dreams come true. He’s also not afraid to share his life experiences and talk about how they shaped him and kept him going. He’s all about body positivity and is very open about being comfortable with his body. One of my favorite articles by him is I’m Fat And (Probably) Get More Than You. Here’s Why. Definitely check that out!  He is a very interesting guy and I hope someaday I get to meet him and maybe even write him 😉

I do not know about that last part, but if you have the time you should definitely check out his site and maybe find him on Social Media. Also, he’s on Growlr, but, you’ll have to find him on there yourself.

Hope you guys enjoy this little read!

Live to laugh another day!

TSWPA

Jaybo